When You’re the One Who Has to Start the Planning
If you’re a millennial living in Toronto or Ontario with aging parents, you might already feel the subtle pressure of caregiving—whether you’re driving them to appointments, helping with paperwork, or just worrying about what happens if something changes with their health.
Most people don’t wake up and think, “I’m a caregiver now.” It sneaks up—small tasks here and there until it becomes something heavier. You’re juggling their needs, your own life, and often complicated emotions on top of it.
That’s where a caregiving plan comes in. It’s not about having everything figured out. It’s about giving yourself a little structure now so you’re not stuck trying to manage a crisis later.
Why a Care Plan Helps You Feel Less Overwhelmed
A lot of people think caregiving plans are just about logistics. But they can actually help you feel more emotionally grounded.
A simple care plan:
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Reduces the pressure of last-minute decisions
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Makes it easier to set boundaries and ask for help
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Helps prevent burnout and avoid resentment
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Gives you something to lean on when things get hard
Having a plan is one small way to protect your mental health—while still showing up for your parent in a way that feels right for you.
How to Start a Care Plan (Even If You Feel Stuck)
You don’t need a binder or spreadsheet to begin. Start with a rough outline and build from there. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s clarity.
1. You Might Already Be a Caregiver
You don’t need to be doing full-time physical care for it to count. If you’re managing doctor visits, organizing medications, helping with errands, or just constantly worrying—you’re already in it.
Naming that helps you plan for what’s next.
2. Start the Conversation—Even if It’s Awkward
You don’t have to dive into heavy topics all at once. Try something small:
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“If something changes with your health, how would you want me to help?”
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“Would it bring peace of mind to know we’ve talked through a few things?”
Expect some resistance—that’s normal. You’re not trying to control the future. You’re trying to care with intention.
3. Make a Basic Outline
Start with these categories:
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Health: What conditions or medications are already in play?
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Housing: Can they stay where they are long-term?
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Money: Who has access to accounts or documents if needed?
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Support circle: Who else can be called on—siblings, neighbours, friends?
This isn’t about knowing all the answers. It’s about identifying what’s already happening and what might be missing.
4. Write It Down So You’re Not Carrying It Alone
Use a shared document, a simple list, or even notes in your phone. Include:
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Emergency contacts
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Medication list
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Doctors or specialists
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Where to find important documents like POAs, wills, or health directives
Having this written down reduces the mental load and makes it easier to act when things get stressful.
5. Update the Plan as Life Changes
This isn’t a one-and-done task. Check in with the plan every year—or after a big shift like a health event or a move.
Revisit the conversations. Adjust the plan. Let it grow with your situation.
Helpful Resources for Ontario Caregivers
You don’t have to do this alone. There are supports available—whether you use them now or just keep them on your radar:
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Family Service Toronto – Programs for seniors and caregivers
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Ontario Caregiver Organization – Free tools, helplines, peer support
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Alzheimer Society of Ontario – Education and care navigation help
When You’re Carrying a Lot Emotionally
Caregiving brings up a lot: love, grief, frustration, guilt. It can change how you see yourself—and your relationship with your parent.
Talking to someone can help you:
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Make sense of your role
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Set healthy boundaries
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Process the big feelings that caregiving brings
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Feel less alone in all of it
Planning is one way to care for your parents. Getting support is one way to care for yourself.
Need a starting place?
A short conversation can help you sort out what’s next. I offer therapy to millennial caregivers in Toronto, the GTA, and across Ontario.
[Book a consultation]
References
Bevans, M. F., & Sternberg, E. M. (2012). Stress and supportive care needs of millennial caregivers. Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, 60(4), 695–700.
Fast, J., & Keating, N. (2022). Collecting information on caregivers' financial well-being. Canadian Journal on Aging, 41(1), 1–15.
Newman, K., Chalmers, H., & Ciotti, S. (2023). The impact of public health restrictions on young caregivers and how they navigated a pandemic: Baseline interviews from a longitudinal study conducted in Ontario, Canada. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(1), 123–135.
Monica Lau
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