Grief is about learning to live with a loss while maintaining a meaningful connection to those that have passed. Often, folks find that their loved ones continue to be present in their lives in unexpected ways. This can come in through signs, our senses or mediumship. These small but significant ways of knowing and feeling that our loved ones are still around allows us to continue an ongoing relationship described by Dr. Alan Wolfelt’s concept of “continuing bonds”, 1 of the 6 tasks of mourning.
Signs from Loved Ones: A Universal Experience
One of the most common ways people experience connection after loss is through signs. This may come through the senses—smelling a loved one’s perfume, hearing a special song at just the right moment, seeing birds, butterflies, or other symbols that hold personal significance. We might want to dismiss these as coincidences but for many, they bring comfort, reassurance, and a sense that their loved one is still present but in a different way.
Grieving individuals frequently share experiences like:
- Dreams: Dreams where a loved one appears a conversation may be had or its a simple observance of them.
- Scents: The sudden, unexplained presence of a familiar fragrance, like a spouse’s cologne or a mother’s favourite flowers.
- Sounds: Songs playing unexpectedly, often with lyrics that feel deeply relevant or way too coincidental.
- Animals & Nature: Encounters with birds, butterflies, or other creatures that seem to appear while you’re thinking about your loved one.
Though some may find these experiences strange or even unsettling, they often provide immense comfort.
Mediumship and Seeking Connection
For those who seek a more direct connection, mediumship offers another avenue. Psychic mediums have long served as bridges between the living and the deceased, providing messages that often contain personal details only the loved one would know. Books like Laura Lynne Jackson’s Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe discuss how the departed communicate with us, encourage openness to these messages and developing you’re own “language” with one another.
Some may approach mediumship with skepticism but many who have attended readings describe the experience as healing. The key is to approach it with an open heart while also being mindful of finding reputable practitioners.
Wolfelt’s Continuing Bonds: Keeping the Relationship Alive
Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a leading grief educator, emphasizes that we don’t “move on” from grief—we move forward with it. His concept of "continuing bonds" challenges the idea that to process grief, we must accept the end of the relationship with loved ones. Instead, it encourages a lifelong relationship with the deceased, allowing their memory and influence to shape us.
Ways to cultivate continuing bonds include:
- Talking to Them: Speaking aloud, writing letters, or even journaling conversations.
- Creating Rituals: Lighting a candle on important dates, keeping a special object, or preparing their favorite meal.
- Honoring Their Legacy: Carrying on their values, telling their stories, or engaging in activities they loved.
- Recognizing Their Presence: Accepting signs and moments of connection as part of the ongoing relationship.
Normalizing These Conversations
Many people hesitate to talk about these experiences for fear of being judged. However, these connections—whether through signs, mediumship, or simply feeling a presence—are widely reported across cultures and belief systems. By engaging in these conversations, we create space for grief to be expressed in all its forms, validating the ongoing love and presence of those who have passed.
If you’ve ever felt a sign from a loved one, know that you are not alone. These experiences can serve as gentle reminders that love does not end with death—it continues in new and mysterious ways, offering comfort and guiding us forward.
Have you experienced a sign from a passed loved one? Share your story in the comments or reach out if you’re seeking support in your grief journey.
Monica Lau
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