As a trauma-informed psychotherapist based in Toronto, specializing in loss, I've had the privilege of supporting individuals navigating the loss of a beloved pet. In this article, I am getting into why pet loss is uniquely challenging, how disenfranchised grief plays a significant role, and provide some practical tips for coping with this type of loss.
Pet loss is unique because our special relationships with our furry, feathered, or scaly companions. They offer unconditional love and companionship, acting as constant sources of comfort and joy. When they're no longer with us, the void they leave behind can feel overwhelming.
Our pets also play a big role in our daily lives, providing structure and predictability to our routines. When they pass away, it disrupts these routines, amplifying our feelings of loss.
Adding to the challenge is the fact that many people don't fully understand the depth of grief that comes with losing a pet. Despite the strong bonds we form with our animal companions, society often downplays this type of loss, leaving us feeling invalidated and isolated in our grief. This phenomenon is known as disenfranchised grief.
Disenfranchised grief, a term coined by Kenneth Doka, refers to the lack of recognition and validation that some forms of grief receive. In the case of pet loss, society may not fully acknowledge the significance of the bond between humans and animals, leaving grieving individuals feeling unsupported.
Here are some practical tips for navigating pet loss and disenfranchised grief:
- Create Meaningful Rituals: Just as we have traditions and ceremonies to honour the loss of humans, creating rituals can provide comfort when mourning a pet. Whether it's a simple ceremony or a more elaborate tribute, find ways to honour your pet's memory.
- Reach Out for Support: Don't hesitate to lean on friends, family, or a therapist who understands the weight of pet loss. Talking about your grief with others who empathize can be incredibly comforting and validating.
- Remember Your Pet's Legacy: Find ways to keep your pet's memory alive in your daily life. This could involve displaying photos, creating a memorial, or volunteering at an animal shelter in their honour. Keeping their memory alive can bring comfort and connection.
Losing a pet is losing a loved one. It can be particularly challenging because society often doesn't view it with the same seriousness as the loss of a person. This disconnect can leave us feeling alone in our grief. Take the time to honour your pet's memory and seek out support from those who understand.
Monica Lau
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