Traumatic or Sudden Loss
When Loss Feels Overwhelming
Losing someone or something important to you is difficult, but when a loss is sudden, violent, or traumatic, it can feel impossible to process. Traumatic loss disrupts your sense of safety and stability, often leaving you in a state of disbelief, confusion, or numbness. If your world has been shaken by a loss that was unexpected, tragic, or unresolved, you may be struggling to make sense of what happened.
The sudden nature of traumatic loss often means there was no time to prepare, no chance to say goodbye, and no way to make sense of it all. The grief that follows may be complicated by trauma responses, making it difficult to move forward in a way that feels healing.
How Trauma Affects the Grieving Process
Trauma and grief are deeply intertwined when loss is sudden, violent, or unresolved. You may respond in ways that make daily life more difficult, such as:
- Feeling constantly on edge or hypervigilant
- Emotional numbness or detachment from others
- Flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, or nightmares
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Physical symptoms like fatigue, tension, or digestive issues
- Avoiding places, people, or conversations related to the loss
- Questioning your beliefs, worldview, or sense of purpose
Types of Traumatic Loss
Traumatic grief can result from many different types of losses, including:
- Loss from violence – Homicide, war, or assault can leave survivors with profound grief and a deep sense of injustice.
- Loss from suicide – Feelings of guilt, unanswered questions, and stigma can complicate the grieving process.
- Accidental loss – Unexpected deaths from car accidents, medical errors, or natural disasters can leave survivors in shock and disbelief.
- Missing persons and ambiguous loss – When there is no clear closure, such as in cases of kidnapping, disappearance, or dementia, grief remains unresolved and ongoing.
Healing involves learning to tolerate contradictions—holding onto love while accepting uncertainty, finding meaning even in the absence of answers.
Healing After Traumatic Loss
When working through traumatic loss, the first step is not to "move on" but to create a sense of safety. Before processing the grief itself, we must first regulate the nervous system, rebuild a sense of stability, and establish trust. This process includes:
- Building Safety – Through grounding techniques, somatic work, and nervous system regulation, we help your body and mind feel safer in the present.
- Rebuilding Connection – Trauma can make you withdraw or feel isolated; we work on rebuilding trust in yourself, others, and the world around you.
- Processing the Loss – When ready, we explore the emotions, memories, and thoughts tied to your grief in a way that feels manageable and honoring.
- Integrating Meaning & Resilience – Instead of trying to "get over" the loss, we focus on how to carry it with you in a way that fosters healing and continued connection.
A Trauma-Informed Approach to Grief
Every person’s grief journey is different - your past experiences, history of trauma, and personal worldview all shape how loss affects you. Using a trauma-informed lens, I provide a safe space where your grief is honored and supported. Healing does not mean forgetting—it means finding a way to hold both sorrow and resilience, pain and love, loss and meaning, all at once.
If you have experienced a sudden or traumatic loss and are struggling to process it, you are not alone. You deserve support, safety, and space to heal. Reach out to begin this journey together.
